/*scrolling menu script*/ /*End scrolling menu script*/ Booze Bros Light: 5/24 Elora Special Bitter, Old Mill
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Thursday, July 16, 2009

5/24 Elora Special Bitter, Old Mill

Reviewed on September 30, 2008
5.0% Alc./Vol.

First Impression:
Nutty aroma. Very nutty... like a squirrel's BM, but in a disturbing way it is pleasing to the nose. The first chug was bitter, as the label indicated; comparable to a Tankhouse or Waterloo Dark. What the label didn't mention was the lingering aftertaste of fresh tar, and the feeling you get that there isn't any alcohol in the liquid; or carbonation for that matter. Although it is not the worst bitter beer I've tried, it certain has room for improvement.
rating... 2/6

Speed Rating:
If the "not" joke was still in style, I'd place it at the end of the following sentence: "This beverage is really poundable, and I could drink it all night long." The best before date states that I still have another two months to drink this beer, and that sounds about accurate -- if I'm lucky I'll finish it in one month. I've already begun doing what I normally do when having sex: I'm pretending it's another beer -- and the fact that I'm pretending it's a light beer doesn't say much for it.
rating... 1/6

Intangibles:
The labeling seems simple enough, perhaps too simple. I want a lion, or a moose on my beer. Or guns, even... yeah, guns!
The most redeeming qualities are the foil top and the size of it. As opposed to the more traditional sizes, this premium ale comes pint size!
rating... 2/6

Overall Effect:
Let's just say that I'd be better off using this liquid to de-clog my bathtub drain, or maybe I'll go thin some paint with it. I sure-as-shit ain't gonna finish the thing. Go ahead and tell me that's alcohol abuse, and I'll throw it right back at you (not literally, 'cause it'll probably burn your face off). They call it "special" bitter, but they probably meant it like "the process to make this beer was accidentally retarded".
rating... 0/6

Total: 5/24
Level of Drunkness: 0 (Maybe even more sober now).

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